The numbers... We are always interested in the numbers. And the doctors are interested in the numbers as well. The numbers come from lab results, largely lab tests of my blood. These numbers give important clues to how I am doing internally. They are valuable. We also give a lot of emotional weight to these numbers, and sometimes they go up, and sometimes they go down. If the numbers improve, we get happy. If the numbers show a decline, we feel sad. The odd thing is that often the numbers do not reflect how I feel. Right now one of the numbers that they look at his my hematocrit. It measures how many red blood cells I have. When the hematocrit goes down, I need a transfusion of red blood cells. In spite of that number going down I often feel just fine. I can't tell that my numbers have gone down until labs come back.
It is astonishing the number of tests that the doctors can request just using blood. It's also a bit alarming the number of tubes of blood that they sometimes draw from me when I go in. On my last visit to Dana-Farber, 11 tubes of blood were drawn to be used in tests. Each one of these test results has a number or describes a condition. At this point in my medical education, I know the meaning of about half of the tests that they do. Which also means that I know whether the number going up is a good thing or a bad thing.
Following the numbers can be a lot like riding a roller coaster. There can be a lot of excitement in the up and down. Let me give you an example. For the last few weeks I have needed a transfusion of red blood cells during my visit on Monday, while on the following Thursday my numbers were fine and I did not need a transfusion. This pattern repeats itself: Monday transfusion, Thursday okay, Monday transfusion, Thursday okay. Keep in mind, as these weeks go on I feel pretty darn good with low counts on Monday and do not feel noticably better on Thursday when my counts are up.
The purpose of all of this medical intervention is to have a successful recovery. My son Robert likened this to watching the stock market. And our nurse practitioner, Melissa, was quick to agree with him. The investor is looking for overall growth in his portfolio. Small day to day fluctuations in the value of a stock are less important than the long-term trend in the value of that same stock. What we hope for, what we look for is a steady trend, a durable trend, that takes me from the point of hospitalization to a full recovery. When I step back and look at the lab results since the beginning of July, I see that there has been a steady, though bumpy, trend of improvement in all of my counts. What I see is that my portfolio, my medical portfolio, is looking pretty good.
One other measure of how I'm doing, is that I had been visiting Dana-Farber twice a week. This week is the first time that I have only one visit. A visit to Dana-Farber is a whole day affair, not having to go for my regular Thursday visit will be a real treat. What will I do with the time?
